Nu devin mai deştepţi, tocmai aia e. Întrebările nu sunt idioate, doar sunt puse de idioţi. E simplu, nu?

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The Book: What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your present circumstances seems more likely, consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer.

Halal încurajare!

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

nu-mi place cartea asta, si viziunea pe care o ofera..

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Fii prost cand o cere imprejurarea, a sti sa simulezi prostia cand trebuie este cea mai mare intelepciune.

Cato

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Daca recunosti ca n-ai dreptate, cand n-ai dreptate, ai dreptate!

Ohoo... mai nasol e când nu o simulezi. Cartea e comică, trust me.
Urmează History of the World: Part I (Mel Brooks e criminal)

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Jacques: Don't cry, my dear. I may not have been born a king, I may not have lived like a king. But at least I can die like a king. [He strides to the guillotine with dignity] Executioner: Your Majesty, do you require a blindfold? Jacques: None. Executioner: Have you any last request? Jacques: None. Executioner: Test the guillotine! [Another executioner triggers the guillotine; the blade comes down and chops the head off a wooden dummy] Jacques: *Holy shit!* Uh, wait! Wait! Last request, I have a last request! Executioner: What is your last request? Jacques: Uh, novocaine. [the executioners confer] Executioner: There's no such thing known to medical science! Jacques: I'll wait!

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

Mel Brooks e tare..

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A fi fericit înseamna iubire, asa ca a fi fericit înseamnă suferintă, asa ca nefericirea inseamna iubire, sau iubirea înseamna suferinta, sau suferinta din prea multa fericire.

Woody Allen

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Daca recunosti ca n-ai dreptate, cand n-ai dreptate, ai dreptate!

Woody Allen e nebun, serios. Tot Mel Brooks, dar alt film. Dracula: Dead and Loving It.

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Renfield: [as the two Vampire brides climb into his bed] Whatare you on about? What's all this then? Who are you people? I-I'll have you know that's my knee your Straddiling! Renfield: [they start to gyrate on top of him] No, Stop! Stop it at once! Oh! Ah... No, no this is wrong! This is wrong! This is wrong, do you hear me, wrong! this is- [He starts to moan] Renfield: WRONG ME! WRONG ME! WRONG MY BRAINS OUT!

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Jonathan Harker: She's alive? Van Helsing: She's Nosferatu. Jonathan Harker: She's Italian?

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Dr. Steward: Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy. Van Helsing: And gynaecology. Dr. Steward: Oh, I didn't know you had your hand in that, too.

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[still at the breakfast scene. A grasshopper jumps onto the patio. Renfield, intentionally, throws his fork] Renfield: Oh! Dropped my fork! [Renfield gets on all fours and scrambles under the table for the insect] Dr. Steward: Mr. Renfield, what are you doing down there? Renfield: Fork found! [comes back up] Renfield: Sorry for the delay. [the grasshopper's leg is sticking out of Renfield's mouth, and wiggling about. Renfield looks at Dr. Seward, confused] Dr. Steward: My God, man! You're eating insects right from the ground! Renfield: What makes you say that? Dr. Steward: I can see one trying to get out of your mouth! Renfield: Out of my mouth? Dr. Steward: Yes, out of your mouth! Your very own mouth and it's wiggling about! Renfield: Don't be ridiculous! Wiggling! Dr. Steward: I'm not ridiculous at all! It's wiggling all over the place! Poor thing is fighting for its life! [Renfield eyes the grasshopper's leg, and quickly scoops it up] Renfield: I don't know what you're talking about. If you insist on ranting like this, I'm going to leave! Dr. Steward: Me, ranting? You're the ranter! [Renfield spots a fly] Renfield: [to the fly] Hello, little darling! [grabs the air in attempt to catch the fly] Renfield: Don't be afraid! [laughs in a strange tone] Renfield: I won't hurt you! All I want is your life! [Renfield does a body slam across Dr. Seward's lap, and knocks everything off the table]

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

acestea sunt citate..sau povesti??
oricum, funny..

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Cronos a taiat cu secera testiculele tatalui sau Uranus, care era personificarea cerului. Si cred ca a procedat corect: va puteti imagina un cer cu testicule?

Valeriu Butulescu

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Daca recunosti ca n-ai dreptate, cand n-ai dreptate, ai dreptate!

Eu pot. Scuze, nu ştiu ce naiba am păţit.
Robin Hood: Men in Tights =))

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Prince John: Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it? Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century. Prince John: You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"? Latrine: Yeah. Used to be "Shithouse." Prince John: It's a good change. That's a good change!

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Prince John: And why should the people listen to you? Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.

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Robin Hood: Blinkin, listen to me. They've taken the castle! Blinkin: I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive. Robin Hood: He's dead? Blinkin: Yes. Robin Hood: And my mother? Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while... oh, you were away... Robin Hood: My brothers? Blinkin: There were all killed by the plague. Robin Hood: My dog, Pogo? Blinkin: Run over by a carriage. Robin Hood: My goldfish, Goldie? Blinkin: Eaten by the cat. Robin Hood: [on the verge of tears] My cat? Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish. [pause] Blinkin: Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it, Master Robin?

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

Ooo, dar pe forumul ăsta nimeni nu se simte singur... nici în siguranţă, ce-i drept! )

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Prince John: Save me, save me! Hurt them, hurt them! Sheriff of Rottingham: Right! Save them, save them, hurt you, hurt you! I've got it!

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Robin Hood: This is Ahchoo. Little John: Bless you! Ahchoo: [laughs] No, that's my name, man. Ahchoo.

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Robin Hood: Blinkin, I'd like you to meet Ahchoo. Blinkin: A Jew? Here? Robin Hood: No no, not a Jew. Ahchoo.

Cu asta, eu termin partea mea de maraton. Desigur, în zilele ce urmează mai putem posta aici, topicul nu se închide.
This was fun! We should do this again. Next time we do it at your place.

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

G. J. G. Marquez

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Nu merita sa plangi pentru nimeni, iar cei care merita nu te vor face sa plangi.

Tudor Musatescu

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Albina e satirica: inteapa. Eu am umor: pisc.

William Faulkner

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Niciodata nu trebuie sa te rusinezi a marturisi ca ai gresit. Inseamna doar sa spui cu alte cuvinte ca astazi esti mai intelept decat ieri.

Anonim

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Viata nu se masoara cu numarul de respiratii pe care le aveti, ci in momente care iti taie rasuflarea.

Al.Dumas

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Nu exista nici fericire, nici nenorocire pe lume; exista doar compararea unei stari cu cealalta si atata tot. Doar cel care a simtit nefericirea cea mai cumplita e in stare sa simta cea mai mare fericire. Ca sa-ti dai seama cat de bine este sa traiesti, trebuie sa fi dorit sa mori.

Pablo Picasso

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Orice iti poti imagina este real.

cu asta, inchei si eu!!
astept urmatorul maraton!!

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Daca recunosti ca n-ai dreptate, cand n-ai dreptate, ai dreptate!

andra...iti vreau cazanul.. al doilea e din "Tinerete vesnica"..filmul...deci...il vreau ultimul e din "Marile Sperante "

si daca tot am inceput :

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"Say what you will , 'tis better to be left than never to have been loved ".

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"Esti un copil care cauta sa devina barbat. Cand vei fi barbat , in zadar vei cauta copilul care ai fost ."

si unul dintre preferatele mele :

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" The great Pleasure in life is doing what other people say you cannot do ."

Din House, acum am auzit asta.

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Cameron: How would you describe my leadership skills? House: Nonexistant. Otherwise, excellent.

=))

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

Inca un citat misto, de data asta dintr-o reclama

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I did WHAT with my sister?

Guess you didn't see that one coming

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We would go and change the world if God would only give us the source code.

Am si eu un citat

"Not a shred of evidence exists in favour of the idea that life is serious" Brendon Gill

sau...one of my favourites...

"If A is success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X, Y is play and Z is keeping your mouth shut" Aristotel

Pentru Ovi...

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Wilson: "Cuddy called" House: "I know, I recognized the caller ID" Wilson: "Young girl, anafilactic..." House: "You answered?" Wilson: "Turns out that's what stops the ringing"

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!