Dap, eu tot cu citate comice voi juca azi. Pentru început, câte ceva din The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

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Ford: [after being thrown into the airlock by a guard] Wash your filthy hands! [looks around] Ford: Don't panic... don't panic... Arthur: So this is it. We're gonna die. Ford: Yeah. We're gonna die. [pauses] Ford: No... no! What's this? [goes over to control panel] Arthur: What's that? Ford: What's this...? What's this...? [flips switch] Ford: This... is... nothing. Yeah, we're gonna die.

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

Cine cunoaste stie

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Can monkeys surf the net... and corrupt our kids? Chimpanzee chat rooms, next on Sick, Sad World.

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We would go and change the world if God would only give us the source code.

) Mă, eu cică nu trebuie să râd prea tare că trezesc toată casa. Oh, nevermind

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Mr. Prosser: Do you know how much damage this bulldozer would sustain if I just let it roll over you? Arthur: How much? Mr. Prosser: None at all.

Tot ghidul...

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

Ovi, tipa aia cu voce nazală, cumva?
Dau mai multe din Ghid.

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Zaphod: If there's anything around here more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now!

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The Book: Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience members died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. The very worst poetry in the universe was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex. Thankfully it was destroyed when the earth was.

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The Book: The Encyclopedia Galactica, in its chapter on Love states that it is far too complicated to define. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of love: Avoid, if at all possible. Unfortunately, Arthur Dent has never read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

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Arthur: Normality? We can talk about normality until the cows come home. Ford: What is normal? Trillian: What is home? Zaphod: What're cows?

Mai dau în postul următor. Sunt mult prea comice ca să mă abţin.

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

funny..

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Daca te lasi de fumat, de baut si de femei nu traiesti mai mult ... doar ca ti se pare ca timpul trece prea incet.

Clement Freud

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Daca recunosti ca n-ai dreptate, cand n-ai dreptate, ai dreptate!

Cine e Clement Freud? De alt Freud am auzit, dar de ăsta încă nu... oricum, are dreptate.

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Eddie the Computer: Guys, I am just pleased as punch to inform you that there are two thermo-nuclear missiles headed this way... if you don't mind, I'm gonna go ahead and take evasive action Arthur Dent: COMPUTER DO SOMETHING! Eddie the Computer: Sure thing fella! Switching over to manual control... good luck! [Ship's engines immediately stop and ship falls]

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The Book: Space, says the introduction to the guide, is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind bogglingly big it is. And so on.

and a personal favourite of mine:

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The Book: A man who no more knows his destiny than a tea leaf knows the history of the East India company.

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

nu stiu cine e..

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Doctorul mi-a dat sase luni de trait, dar cand n-am putut plati factura mi-a mai dat sase.

Walter Matthau

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Daca recunosti ca n-ai dreptate, cand n-ai dreptate, ai dreptate!

cartea are dreptate..

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Sa fii prost, egoist si sa ai o sanatate buna sunt trei cerinte pentru a fi fericit, desi daca prostia lipseste celelalte nu mai conteaza.

Gustave Flaubert

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Daca recunosti ca n-ai dreptate, cand n-ai dreptate, ai dreptate!

=)) Bună asta din urmă! Deci de-aia nu mergea treaba cu fericirea... acum pricep.
OK, tot din Ghid, e o fază amuzantă cu o armă nebună. Sunt două citate, ca să pricepi despre ce e vorba.

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The Book: [about the Point of View Gun] The Point of View gun conveniently does precisely what its name suggests. That is if you point it at someone and pull the trigger, they instantly see things from your point of view. It was designed by Deep Thought, but commissioned by a consortium of intergalactic angry housewives, who after countless arguments with their husbands were sick to the teeth of ending those arguments with the phrase "You just don't get it, do you?"

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Zaphod: Why so edgy, baby doll? Relax. Trillian: Why so edgy? You wanna know why I'm edgy? [fires Point-Of View gun at Zaphod] Zaphod: [from Trillian's view] Of course you're edgy. Your planet's been blown up and you've been tooling round the galaxy with the guy who signed the order. You actually wanted to know the question because you always wondered if there was more to life and now you're crushed because you find out there really isn't. Zaphod: [from Zaphod's view] Hey, fantastic. Psychedelic. Zaphod: [from Trillian's view] You have no home and no family and now you're stuck with me, another in a long line of men who doesn't really get you. Zaphod: [from Zaphod's view] That's not true. Zaphod: [from Trillian's view] And you're worried that you might have blown it with the one guy who really does. Zaphod: Oh, baby doll. Give me that thing. [takes Point-Of-View gun off Trillian and aims it at her] Trillian: It won't affect me. I'm already a woman.

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Worst case scenario: you kill somebody... and that hangs over your head for the rest of your life. But that is the absolute worst case scenario!

Hrăniţi-mi şobolanul până se face mare şi explodează!

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Daca nu exista intrebari stupide, atunci ce gen de intrebari pun prostii? Devin brusc destepti in timp ce pun intrebarile?

Scott Adams

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Daca recunosti ca n-ai dreptate, cand n-ai dreptate, ai dreptate!